My first tinnitus blogg!

Hello and welcome to my very first blog. Ever! (I apologise in advance) I will be discussing my experience of tinnitus and how it effects my little messy life. Feel free to do the same.

The British Tinnitus Association describes tinnitus as:

"The sensation of hearing noises in your ear or head when there is no external cause."

I have not long been home from a 2 month trip driving from Prague to Russia through Mongolia in a tiny Fiat Panda, for charity, with 3 of my funniest friends Will, Craig and Aimee. (some tasty photos in my site gallery, thankyouverymuch).

It was on this worldly adventure that I decided I really needed to write about how I cope, and do not cope with life, all the while listening to a high pitched ringing in my head. You see, Tinnitus came WITH me. It came with me to Slovakia, Turkey, Kazakhstan, Uzbekistan, Turkmenistan, Tajikistan, Iran, Russia and it even came with me to the Mongolian desert! That's the thing with tinnitus, it follows you. Like some kind of creepy ex boyfriend. Irritating and unwanted!

During this trip, I had the same issues I experience at home. A sleepless night here and there (resulting in an extremely tired and emotional Jess), mishearing or simply NOT hearing the wonderful conversations going on around me, explaining to new friends that I have tinnitus and can't hear a word they're saying, and the pure frustration of listening to that noise, wanting to punch myself in the head but not look like a crazy person frustration.

It's pretty hard not to feel alone in the struggle, which is why I'm here writing. According to the Daily Mail, there are around 5 million people in the UK suffering with tinnitus. That's a lot of f*cking people. So let's chat about it, moan about it and find ways to deal with it.

The worst thing for me is getting through conversations without looking ignorant or dumb. You see, I have always been a very outgoing girl. I loved meeting new people and doing new things, or going to the pub and on dates with disappointing men... but tinnitus fights me on all that, making these things feel impossible to do. In the two years I have lived with tinnitus, I have become anxious when going to a busy, loud pub in case I can't hear my friends, or on a date with someone when I don't know if they will speak clearly enough for me to hear. My confidence had certainly taken a massive hit.

*It didn't help that I now also wear hearing aids to try and combat hearing loss, not something you want to be rocking with your outfit at 29. As we all know, hearing aids are only for old people, right? (WRONG!) But I'll be talking more about wearing aids and trying to make them look cool another day.*

So I stopped. I stopped doing the things I enjoyed and felt sorry for myself for 2 years.

That is RIDICULOUS!! I refuse to live that life! (woohoo girl power spice girl kick).

I have set myself a task of trying all the recommended treatments, using the help available and giving my honest reviews of such wonderment and, lets be honest, some bullsh*t. There will no doubt be some funny hiccups on the way because, to be quite honest, I'm a clumsy mess of an adult! But join me anyway...