Do support groups help?

After having tinnitus for more than 2 years, this week I decided to finally join some online support groups to see if they could really help. Here's how I've been getting on.... Firstly, I tried to find a forum via the British Tinnitus Association website but unfortunately the support on offer was a real-life-people-face-to-face-in-a-circle-like-AA group (presumably all crying) along with a link to find one in 'my area'. Not. For. Me. I'm sure they are great for some, especially those who are feeling lonely with the condition and need a good ol' hug, and possibly free tea and biscuits. However, it's not what I was looking for and the thought of walking into a community hall to talk to strangers about my feelings sent shivers down my spine.

There was also, kindly on offer, a helpline to call. But I feel like this should only be used for emergencies, for example, if you start banging your head against a wall to try and stop the noise, that's probably a good time to call the helpline!

I've included the link just in case either of these options are right up your street!

https://www.tinnitus.org.uk/find-a-support-group

OK, so the BTA is out of the running for an online support group. Next best thing...

that's right...

FACEBOOK.

Yikes. I knew it was going to be a bumpy ride!

In saying that, I found a couple of support group pages immediately and had to answer a couple of questions to admin before they would let me join, so at least I knew the page was being monitored somehow. You're only allowed in if you have tinnitus, so I felt like I was being let into this exclusive club that was going to change everything, because I'm obviously special. Damn right I am! Ignore the fact there is 5400 other members. They also specify that the aim is to encourage success stories and swap hints and tips for coping and improving. Brilliant!

Seems that not many members got that memo.

Understandably, it is mainly used as a way for people to express their frustrations and deepest, darkest feelings. One (we'll call him Colin) even proclaiming that he didn't think he could suffer any longer and may not make it through the night without taking his own life. Its heavy stuff for all 5000+ of us to read and thank goodness there were enough people on the ball offering buckets of support, understanding and love. Enough for him to confirm the next day, that he made it through the night this time. Tinnitus is capable of this, I know that. Capable of taking you to the edge. It's serious, and exactly why there are helpline's available.

That was one of the extreme examples, of course. The majority of the frustrations seem to be, firstly, stating the amount of time you've had tinnitus, along with how much it is annoying you, finishing with how many nights you have gone without sleep. There also seems to be a hint of competition that arises, strangely between those who have suffered the longest. Some have had it for 2 years (like myself), others 8 and some veterans of 25 years! The new members that have suffered only a couple of weeks very spectacularly get laughed off the stage. Come back when you really know! These people are tough cookies, unsurprisingly.

On the flip side, I found this support group really helpful, not because I could tell them all my darkest feelings of woe, but because it made me think "well at least mine isn't THAT bad!". Perhaps because I just happen to be coping well with it at this moment in time, perhaps because I have so many distractions in my life right now or perhaps because I'm a bit mean and listening to other people moan annoys me to the point that I have no desire to moan alongside them. But one of these days, I might need them for exactly the same thing poor Colin needed them for. And I hope I never do.

So with my news feed filling with posts from my thousands of fellow tinnitus sufferers taking up scroll space usually reserved for cute dog videos and pictures of mediocre Sunday lunches... I might leave it until I have one of THOSE days before I re-join the group.

One of the things I've learnt about tinnitus sufferers is that we're all individual, and what works for one person will not work for another. So whether it's support groups, helplines, vitamins, noise maskers, music, meditation or sacrificial cults.. try them all and find your own unique way that helps you!

Well, maybe don't try the sacrificial cult thing...